WWA- memoir first draft

The screenshot above is a screenshot of my memoir 1st draft where we only had the basic knowledge and the outline of memoirs. I attempted to show not tell but took a long time for me to understand this concept and this style of writing. As you can see in the photo above, the blue text is the newer and more improved version of the ones in black. I wanted to post this on my blog/portfolio because I feel really proud that I am able to learn a new style of writing because I feel that I need improve my English. Also, my normal style is the exact opposite so this is a really big achievement for me. In addition, this felt like an extreme challenge for me due to my style.